


come back (i still need you)

by grimmauld



Category: The Haunting of Bly Manor (TV)
Genre: F/F, Fix-It, but sort of one, i actually like the way the show ended but i couldn’t sleep until i wrote this, not quite a viola lloyd redemption, pov viola lloyd
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-06
Updated: 2021-01-06
Packaged: 2021-03-17 01:42:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,865
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28591938
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/grimmauld/pseuds/grimmauld
Summary: There is no way for the Lady of the Lake to come back.She is too old. Her face and name have been long forgotten to the test of time. She herself cannot remember.
Relationships: Dani Clayton/Jamie
Kudos: 33





	come back (i still need you)

**Author's Note:**

> just binged this whole series and couldn’t sleep until i wrote this lmao
> 
> title from hold on by chord overstreet

There is no way for the Lady of the Lake to come back. 

She is too old. Her face and name have been long forgotten to the test of time. She herself cannot remember. 

She does not remember the way it felt as the tickle in her lung grew stronger and stronger, keeping her separated from watching her baby daughter grow. She does not remember the details of her husband’s face, nor her sister’s, nor her child’s, nor her own. 

She does not remember the doctor, or the vicar, the boy, or the soldier. 

All she remembers is the cold blue darkness of the lake, and the well-travelled path from lakes-edge to the bed in which a child once slept; her child’s bed, perhaps, many forgotten moons ago.

It’s you. It’s me. It’s us. 

And then she feels it. The screeching pull inwards suddenly wasn’t as strong as before. She feels the tethered energy bend and sway and snap. 

She is no longer trapped at the bottom of that unforgiving lake on the edge of the manor grounds she once called home.

And she remembers. 

She remembers the woman in the attic, she feels her filling with remorse, and bitterness, and relief, and something like longing, before she feels her fade to nothing. She does not feel angry anymore. She does not feel regret for what she had done, but she feels the stinging tendrils of regret for the reason it had to happen the way it did. 

She remembers the plague doctor. She smells the herbs he wore at the end of his beak, she feels the sting of leeches on her skin, before that too slips away. She does not feel angry anymore. She feels regret again, for the first time in a long, long while. 

She remembers the vicar and his fearful tone, she remembers his blinding faith and pleading hope, and then he is gone. She does not feel angry anymore. She feels regret again, for the first time in a long, long while. 

She remembers the boy in the bed. The first child. But not her child. She sees his face again, just a flash, as he smiles — innocent and full of hope — and he falls away too. She feels regret again, for the first time in a long, long while. 

She remembers the soldier, just for a moment, before he too is gone. She didn’t mean for him to get trapped too, she didn’t take him. She feels regret again, for the first time in a long, long while. 

Just like the soldier, she didn’t mean for the first au pair to be trapped on the grounds of bly, a causality of ill-given love, and the bitter stench of betrayal. She feels regret again, for the first time in a long, long while. 

She remembers the thief. She remembers the way he stole from those who tried to care for him. She remembers the stench of manipulation and abuse as it wafted from him to the young au pair. She had dragged him to the bottom of the lake by his neck, and she does not regret it.

She thinks about the woman at the bottom of the well and she feels regret again, for the first time in a long, long while — though this was not her burden to bear. She regrets it still. 

She sleeps

And then, she wakes. 

And she remembers. 

Her dress is dry for the first time she can remember. The years have grown heavy and unfocused and all she remembers is the cold, wet fabric of her nightgown and the water she tracked through the house. She is standing on the muddy bank of the Bly manor lake, and she is not alone. 

Standing next to the Lady of the Lake is a woman with tousled blonde hair and a fuzzy pink jumper.

And the Lady of the Lake can see her. She does not see an impression, a swirling mass of action and intention. She does not see a thing in her way, a target for her lonely bitterness.

She sees the details of her face. She hasn’t seen the details in so long.

She is standing on the banks, not laying in the unforgiving water, and she can see around her clearly. The hazy film has lifted.

“Hello,” the woman says, voice soft and accented in a way that the Lady of the Lake can not place. 

She doesn’t respond. She hasn’t spoken in so long. She’s afraid she doesn’t remember how. 

“It’s okay, you don’t have to say anything,” the woman continues. “But I’d like to talk to you.”

With all the strength she can summon, she nods her head. The movement is slow and unpractised. With all of the new memories in her head, the new faces and the new feelings, she can’t feel the blinding rage anymore. She wants to be free of the lake.

“My name is Dani, and I've gotten us tucked away for a moment. I'm probably giving everyone a big scare. I don't have a ghost to take over my body, so I can’t even imagine what this looks like on the outside. But I think this is worth the risk. I gave up a piece of myself to take you from the lake, to save you from the endless beating of the water, and to let you free the souls of Bly manor. And I don’t know how long that gives me, but I can’t find it in me — not even for a second — to regret it. Because by giving up a little part of me, I got to save a little girl I care about so viciously, I got to help the ghosts of the manor let go, and I get to help you. So I think, considering, that’s a pretty small price to pay. The only regret I have — the only regret I’ll ever have — is not getting to live a full life with Jamie, but I’ll take whatever I can get with her because, well, I love her more than I thought was ever possible.

“When I look at that woman, all I can feel is pure, unfiltered love. I don’t know if you remember what love feels like, I know you’ve been waiting in the lake for a long time, but it’s worth everything. It’s worth every drop of blood, every hour, every second, of every day. And I wouldn’t trade her for the world. But the problem with that is that one day I know I'm going to have to return to the grounds of Bly manor, and I'm going to have to wade into the lake. And I won't come out. And I’m going to have to do it all alone. But I’m okay with that. I’m okay now, and I’ll be okay whenever that day comes. Because I’ll take whatever time with her I can and I’ll be happy with that.”

The woman, Dani, pauses. She isn’t waiting for the Lady to reply. So the Lady waits, too.

“I guess the big question is what will it take for you to let go? What's keeping you here? You’ve let go all the other souls, why not your own?”

The Lady stands, still, silent. Dani walks around to look at the Lady, her eyes — one a brilliant blue and the other a golden brown — search hers.

“Please come back.  _ Viola. _ ”

And something snaps.

_ She sleeps. _

Dani wakes, hair matted to her forehead with cold lake water. Jamie's hands are warm and firm on her cheeks, chest racking with sobs from where she’s kneeling above Dani in the foyer of Bly manor. She’s cradled to Jamie’s body, the warmth of her skin seeping into Dani’s lake-cooled body. She opens her eyes — one blue, one brown — slowly, sitting up and looking around the room. Flora sits with a blanket wrapped tightly around her shoulders, the tips of her hair still drying. Owen has tears streaming quietly down his face from where he sits just behind Miles and Henry.

Jamie pulls Dani closer, pressing frantic, terrified kisses to the crown of her head.

“Don’t you ever scare me like that again, Poppins,” she whispers, voice thick with tears.

Dani just grips her back harder, pressing her forehead into Jamie's sternum.

“She’s going to bring me back here one day, but one day at a time we’ll spend the rest of what I have together. That, I can promise you,” Dani murmurs in return. 

_ She wakes.  _

Dani keeps seeing the Lady in the Lake in every reflection. Her time is coming. The dreams are getting more vivid and no matter how hard she tries, Dani can’t get through to Viola.

Her face is getting clearer and clearer with each dream but Dani still wakes each time with bitter disappointment and a sense of running out of time. 

She rolls over to look at Jamie. Her best friend, her wife. One day she will have to leave her, to protect her from the lady in the lake. To protect her from Viola. To protect her from Dani.

They’ve had seven years together, and every day Dani counts her blessings that she can wake up next to her.

She lifts her hand from where it rests lax against the pillow and presses a kiss to the cool metal of Jamie’s ring.

Jamie's eyes flutter open and she smiles.

_ She remembers. _

The lake water fills her eyes, and she sits up, once forgotten lungs screaming for a gasp of air that she can’t provide. But maybe it’s not too late for Dani.

The Lady watches as she, dressed in a deep red dress, wades into the lake. And maybe it’s not too late for Dani. 

Her dress is dry, and she knows they have tucked away. The lake looks extensive from the outside. And maybe it’s not too late for Dani. 

“Viola. Please. I fear it’s almost too late. You can let go.”

The day gets clearer each time. The fuzziness around the edge of Dani's silhouette sharpens.

“maybe you could find Isabel if you go. If you let me go.”

And for the first time in a long, long while Viola smiles. She had forgotten how for so long. She remembers now. 

“Open your eyes,” she whispers, her dress swaying in the cool breeze of the foggy day. “She has just enough time. It’s not too late for you. I’m sorry, and thank you for setting me free.”

Dani opens her eyes to find herself once more in the foyer of Bly manor, soaked to the bone in the cold water of the lake. Her eyes are a crystal clear blue.

Jamie sits to her left, shaking with wrenching sobs.

“She let go,” Dani manages, reaching out to clasp Jamie's hand. She brings it shakily to her lips and presses a soft kiss to the back of it. “Viola. She let me go.”

Together, they smile. The walls of Bly manor are empty of the dead, and empty of the forgotten.

Somewhere, far across the ocean, a young woman who no longer remembers a time when she used the name Flora smiles too.

**Author's Note:**

> comments/kudos are appreciated.
> 
> come find me on tumblr @gaylupin


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